smoking on balconies

After losing her job in the global economic crisis Mindi had to relocate for her next job and the only accommodation she could find, and afford, was at a run-down lodging house where smoking was only permitted on balconies.

“The smoking rule didn’t bother me much because I was only using the lodging house for sleeping, I would only be there until I had saved enough money to rent a place of my own and if I did need a puff it wasn’t too much of an imposition to go out on the balcony,” says Mindi, “but it just didn’t work out that way at all.”

“My new job was incredibly stressful, nobody I worked with was interested in hanging out after work, they all went home to watch television or do something else to un-stress themselves and as a result I had nothing better to do than go home early myself.”

“Happily, there were some convivial people staying at the lodging house so my social life was not an entire disaster,” says Mindi, “but by 10pm they’d all drift off to bed and not being accustomed to sleeping before midnight I was left alone in my bleak lodging house room night after night with nothing but a few magazines and a packet of cigarettes for company.”

“Needless to say, the balcony got a lot of use during these two hours of loneliness every night and the butts were starting to pile up, necessitating my having to buy some pot plants – not for the plants, but the containers. They were great for storing the butts until I could dispose of them.”

“I worked out that I needed to stay at the lodging house for at least three months, by which time I should have saved enough money to rent a place of my own,” says Mindi, “but I didn’t bargain on a cold snap which turned my life upside down.”

“Before my first month was up, the weather changed dramatically and even though I piled on my overcoat to go out on the balcony to smoke it was just too cold – my hands were shaking and I was shivering and yeah, I know, I should have gone without my cigarettes or done something naughty like disabling the smoke alarm and smoking inside, but I didn’t want to flout the lodging house rules and it never occurred to me that I would actually catch a cold.”

“Well, I really don’t know whether it was smoking on a balcony at night in freezing weather that did me in or whether I caught a bug from someone at work or the lodging house – everyone was coughing and sniffling – but as the swine flu epidemic was just starting to hit the headlines the lodging house manager wasn’t prepared to take any chances when I fell ill with the worst cold I’ve ever had in my life.”

“He called a doctor for me and I was quarantined in my room for three miserable days straight – without cigarettes – until the tests showed that I didn’t have anything too serious,” laughs Mindi, “and I’m laughing because it was just the opportunity I needed to get away from that stressful job and that lonely lodging house.”

“My parents insisted I come home immediately and because I wouldn’t be able to return to work for at least two weeks my new employer let me go without a fuss,” says Mindi. “You have no idea how relieved I was to say goodbye to it all – the job and the lodging house and those pot plants – and go home to a place where I wouldn’t be required to go out on a balcony in the freezing cold to have a smoke.”

“Yeah, I know, fire is a hazard in lodging houses and managers can’t afford to take any risks,” says Mindi, “but considering how old that place was, and the dodgy state of its electrical wiring, I don’t think a careless smoker is likely to set the place alight – even though a smoker will always be blamed if a fire does break out.”