Councils, condos and annoying neighbors

Hedda and her husband are pensioners in their 70s, living in a small city condo, and they had to laugh when they heard that California's Belmont City Council had voted unanimously to prohibit smoking anywhere in the city except for single family detached residences.

"We laughed because the city council has little chance of getting the proposal cemented into law," says Hedda, "and even if it does then it'll be virtually impossible to enforce because the police have better things to do."

"Let's face it, when you live in a can of sardines," sighs Hedda, "you just can't help annoying someone and I feel sorry for Colleen and Rodger Sauve who lost an appeal after their condominium association amended its bylaws to prohibit smoking, forcing them out of their own home, onto the street, to smoke. That's ridiculous!"

"Smokers are the least of our troubles here," says Hedda. "Sure, we catch a whiff of cigarette and cannabis smoke from some of our neighbors -- and then there's the guy who barbeques on the balcony below us every night, filling our lungs with charcoal -- and even though it irritates us, and could be a health hazard, we can't really complain about a bit of smoke when we choose to live in a city with heavy automobile pollution."

"What really distresses us, and definitely affects our health, is noise from our neighbors after midnight," sighs Hedda. "The streets are quiet, except for an occasional ambulance siren, but the condos are alive with all manner of noises -- crying babies, arguing couples, loud music and doors slamming -- and it's seriously disrupting our sleep."

"We've complained to the condo committee about the noise problem," says Hedda, "but even with a city law banning noise after midnight there's not much they can do, or want to do. Let's face it, you'd be a nazi jerk to call the police and get your neighbor fined or locked up for such trivial things."

"Even our legitimate complaint resulted in our being targeted by one of our offending neighbors for daring to complain about him."

"He's a loud music freak and the worst offender," explains Hedda, "and he was really abusive to us, calling me an interfering old cow. After that experience, we've been intimidated into silence. Our condo committee -- as you can tell -- is probably intimidated, too!"

"We're considering selling up and moving to a purpose built old folks condo, but we'll really miss the convenience of where we live now and there's no telling what we'll have to put up with at a new place -- some old folks can be as annoying as hell!"

"The problem, basically, is too many people living too close to each other, like sardines in a can," says Hedda. "If we all lived in single family detached residences there wouldn't be so many problems with neighbors, but an out-of-town lifestyle isn't for everyone -- it's costly and it's too far from jobs and entertainment."

"At our age, though, our main problem would be the burden of maintaining a house -- and we couldn't afford to buy one in any case -- so we've resigned ourselves to living, and dying, with neighbor noise."

"The problem of neighbors not getting along with each other -- being irritated by smoke, noise or just not liking your religious beliefs or the color of your skin -- is going to get worse with increasing longevity and immigration pressure," says Hedda, "and if councils want to solve these problems then they've got to do something more civilized than criminalizing people for being themselves."

"We already have towns purpose built for old folks -- and ghettos where particular races congregate -- so I see nothing wrong about Belmont declaring itself a no-smoking city or new condos being constructed strictly for non-smokers."

"The trouble with the Belmont proposal -- and the Sauve matter -- is that existing smokers are criminalized, and that's clearly wrong."

"Forcing smokers to move into single family detached residences may not work either," says Hedda, "because smokers would feel they're being marginalized -- and that's almost as bad as criminalizing them."

"I don't mind cities declaring themselves for or against something just as long as they don't criminalize or marginalize people," says Hedda. "Just a simple declaration -- without laws -- would be enough to inspire people to toe the city line and discourage antagonists from moving there."

"Look at it this way," says Hedda, "some cities have earned world recognition pandering for certain tastes, and nobody in their right mind would buy a detached residence let alone a condo in those cities if they hated what the city stood for."

"Belmont has declared itself 'The No-Smokin' City', so the first city that declares itself 'The Smokin' City' is going to attract a lot of new residents," laughs Hedda, "and I bet some enterprising real estate agents are lobbying their city councils right now to haul in the smoking dollars!"

"As for us, well, until a city declares itself 'The Loud Music City' or 'The Cryin' Baby City' or 'The Arguin' Couple City' or 'The Slammin' Door City' -- and inspires our neighbors to move there -- then I guess we'll get all the peace and quiet we want when we're six feet under," sighs Hedda. "And, when the noise gets unbearable, we'll just have to get permanent earplugs fitted."