activist cults and sin taxes

Decca is an activist for a global organization preaching a ‘healthy lifestyle’ agenda. She calls herself a ‘true believer’ in much the same way that a young follower of Jesus may present herself and while there is no traditional ‘religion’ in the global organization it most definitely draws upon the same tactics that religions do in order to attract members and provide funds for its activities –and in that sense it is an activist cult.

“My organization has infiltrated its members into government agencies worldwide in order to attract tax-payer funding,” says Decca, “and we will continue to grow because people are sinners – living unhealthy lifestyles - and need to be punished (by sin taxes) and encouraged to follow the right path.”

“I am not personally into religion,” says Decca, “but a great many of our members were actually recruited from religious institutions and they are the most fervent of our true believers because our bodies are temples and there is nothing in our agenda that clashes with religious beliefs.”

“The healthy lifestyle movement, I suppose, can be likened to a cult,” says Decca. “We fervently believe that we are right in what we preach and we do not welcome dissension in our ranks concerning any of our claims.”

“We are now so mainstream that we can make any claim we like and have it accepted without question,” says Decca. “And if we exaggerate our claims then we do that for the good of the sinners who need to be shocked about the ramifications of what they are doing to their bodies by smoking, drinking and eating junk food.”

“Anyone who dares to scrutinize our claims is rightfully treated as a liar or a fool or a stooge of the great satanic corporations pushing tobacco, alcohol and junk food,” says Decca. “We do not have to prove our claims any more than a religion has to prove the existence of God. It is obvious to us that living a healthy lifestyle – avoiding tobacco, alcohol and junk food – is the right way to live.”

“So obvious is our claim that we have successfully altered social, economic, cultural and political structures the world over,” says Decca. “Just fifty years ago people went about drinking, smoking and eating whatever they liked without a second thought about the harm they were doing to themselves – and thanks to my organization everything has changed.”

“What Jesus did for Sodom and Gomorrah, we are doing for restaurants, pubs and public places,” laughs Decca. “We are cleaning up everybody’s act and forcing them by heavy penalties – extra taxes and social ostracism – to toe the healthy lifestyle line.”

“There have been many movements or cults to change unhealthy lifestyles throughout the ages,” says Decca, “but ours took off exponentially when we allied with the World Health Organization after WWII and took its focus off communicable diseases to attack what we believe is the real scourge of society – the demon drink, filthy tobacco and disgusting obesity.”

“The established churches could not change these habits because people did not want to change, and stopped going to church when the priest or pastor attacked their habits rather than saving their soul,” says Decca. “Our organization took over in this area, and because we are funded from tax-payer funds nobody can get away from us!”

“We are mainstream – we present the superior orthodox line for all to follow – and we are funded by sin taxes,” says Decca. “The churches started off being funded this way before the state and religion were separated, and while they now flounder in increasing obscurity we are taking over as the new guiding light, advising governments in all manner of ways.”

“Our enemies – the satanic stooges – accuse us of delusions of grandiosity, omniscience, infallibility and benevolence,” says Decca, “but how can any reasonable person not agree with us?”

“We understand society’s disease and how to right it and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks,” says Decca. “Our leaders are respected members of the medical establishment. They know what they are talking about. They deal with the body, and see disease every day. If they say that tobacco, alcohol and junk food are killing us, then we must listen to them and stamp out these killers through whatever means we can!”

“If there is any god in our movement that it is the medical profession,” admits Decca. “They have a moral as well as a medical right to dictate to sinners because their sins lead children astray, and the world will be a better place once medicos rule because politicians tend to make compromises with satanic industries in order to get themselves re-elected.”

“Like many others, I started off as a missionary in the organization – preaching to the unconverted,” says Decca, “but now that our agenda is mainstream there is very little missionary work to do (except perhaps in the third world) and most of us are now doing administrative, educational and advisory work in both government and non-governmental organizations.”

“The footwork is done and now we are involved with influencing the political process – getting our members elected into parliaments in order to enforce legislation that supports our agenda,” says Decca. “Just like our friends in the Green Movement aim to restore the environment to its original pristine state, we aim to restore your ‘temple’, your body, into the clean machine it was meant to be.”

“While democracy exists, of course sinners have the right to remain sinners,” laughs Decca, “but increasing sin taxes will ensure that everybody, eventually, will toe the line.”