street government

Sapphire believes that there are two governments in every land – one ruled by the young and free which operates in the streets, and the other ruled by the geriatrics and health nuts which has no jurisdiction over her and young people generally.

"When bars and clubs start enforcing bans on drugs decreed by the public health lobby we'll just move the party outside or go back to what we've been doing for years -- partying at home," laughs Sapphire. "I feel sorry, sort of, for the hospitality industry losing out on us, but the bar and club owners really should have taken a stand."

"Their main source of income -- and attraction -- came from us, not the geriatrics and the health nuts running the public health lobby," says Sapphire. "It's ridiculous that they've forced us outside to smoke or do drugs. Hardly anybody is taking advantage of the smoke-free environment inside, and of those most are so old that they are not going to be around much longer."

"How is the government going to made amends to the hospitality industry when these bans close down thousands of bars and clubs?" asks Sapphire. "What about the tourist industry? What young people would want to come here when the whole country is geared for health nuts and geriatrics trying to live for eternity?"

"Who wants a night out at the gym or a place where the old folks hang out in their drug free zones?"

"I'm not sure which group is more responsible than the other for the current crackdown on all of our vices," says Sapphire, "but there's definitely a health agenda behind it and I think alcohol is going to be next."

"Like I said, it won't bother me what they do because I have my street government," says Sapphire, "but the world is going to become an awfully boring place for everyone else when all the health bans on drugs take effect."

"Bring back the likes of cigar chewing Winston Churchill and vodka swilling Boris Yeltsin," laughs Sapphire. "Now they were politicians to admire and would have kicked the current politically correct idiots back to kindergarten where they belong."

Read more by Sapphire:

health nuts, geriatrics and smokers

unruly teen alienated by stepfamily

We’re all gonna die!

drugs create genius?

health and safety madness

parasitic societies

Ainsley moved with her policeman husband to a small country town last year, and she has figured out that the few people who do have jobs in the town -- including her husband -- earn their income, in one way or another, from the government (ie the taypapers) and she is shocked that the whole town runs on welfare.

"The town has a population of 650," says Ainsley, "and of these an astronomical 612 people are on some sort of government welfare benefit."

"Of the remaining 38 people, 9 are employed directly by the government - including my husband," says Ainsley, "and the remaining 29 are either shopkeepers or self-employed."

"The whole town runs on welfare," sighs Ainsley. "There are no jobs for those who want to work -- the shops and the small businesses are family-run and don't need extra staff."

"When the welfare checks come in, 612 people go out and buy what they need, and the shopkeepers and the small business men and women rake in the money."

"It's a good thing I have two children to keep me busy," laughs Ainsley, "because there's no opportunity here for me to get a part-time job to keep me occupied."

"The population is overwhelmingly very young and very old," says Ainsley. "Most of the working age people have moved to the city to find work -- but from what I've heard a lot of them just end up jobless and on the streets."

"I feel very uncomfortable living in this sort of environment and I can't wait for my husband to get a transfer back to the city."

"Country towns sound romantic," sighs Ainsley, "but they're not."

"I'm accustomed to suburban life where most people work and the only welfare recipients you are likely to meet are the aged pensioners."

"I just can't get accustomed to healthy grown men and women living on welfare, having nothing to do all day. It doesn't make sense and it certainly isn't fair."

"The one good thing about this town is that the crime rate is very low," says Ainsley. "The only trouble my husband has to deal with is alcohol related -- and that, in itself, is related to the men having nothing better to do than drink themselves silly."

"I wish I could come up with some idea to provide employment for the town so that the young men and women don't have to leave," says Ainsley, "but this drift to the city -- and whole towns becoming dependent upon welfare -- has been going on since welfare was introduced."

"I had no idea of the reality of the situation until I came here and saw it for myself."

"The economics of the situation sounds crazy but it seems to work," says Ainsley, "and I'm beginning to wonder whether the government actually promotes welfare dependency in order to provide jobs for the elite."

"In other words, rather than the welfare recipients being the parasites -- it's the other way around -- we're the parasites, feeding off them!"

"Twenty-nine people in this town live directly off welfare checks supporting 612 people -- and 9 people, including my husband, live off salaries paid from taxation."

"Altogether, 38 people is this town pay tax," says Ainsley.

"I doubt whether the tax paid by these 38 people actually covers the welfare checks supporting 612 people," explains Ainsley, "but when you take into consideration that the working and welfare ratio in the city is reversed, it all balances out."

"If the 612 people in this town living on welfare moved elsewhere," says Ainsley, "38 people, including my husband, would be out of work."

"If the millions of people in this country living on welfare moved elsewhere," adds Ainsley, "thousands of people would be out of work!"

"It's scary to accept that our country runs on welfare -- that a certain percentage of people are deliberately denied jobs and a future in order to ensure that the elite prosper," says Ainsley, "but that's the conclusion I've come to."

"I feel uncomfortable living in this environment because I am part of the elite," says Ainsley. "And this is crazy because my husband is just a policeman -- not a doctor or a lawyer."

"It's easy to get a swelled head when you've got a job or a business and you live in a country town like this."

"There are some very big fish here in this small country town," laughs Ainsley, "but they're not just big fish, they're big parasite fish, and that's nothing to be proud of, is it?"

Ainsley's story first appeared as we're all welfare parasites

fleecing smokers

Calista, 48, applauds Martin Whisker's brave protest against the new smoking ban by refusing to stub out his cigarette in a Scarborough pub, but accepts that it's likely to be the only protest because most smokers cannot afford a fine of £50 (reduced to £30 if paid within 15 days)or one of £200 if they are prosecuted and convicted by a court.

"Sometimes I do feel that smokers are like stupid sheep and deserve to be fleeced," says Calista, "but what you can do when you've grown up being bombarded with cool ads for smoking and were considered a wimp if you didn't smoke?"

"My parents didn't smoke -- or drink," says Calista, "so it's not something I learned at home. I picked up the smoking habit -- and drinking -- when I was at school and there was nothing my parents could do to stop me."

"Smoking and drinking were normal social habits when I was growing up and I was almost ashamed of my parents for being so backward."

"They're in their seventies now and are delighted with the smoking ban," laughs Calista, "but they won't be entirely happy until alcohol is banned, too. Fat chance!"

"Are we going backwards or forwards, or what?" asks Calista. "I can't believe that so many young people today are against smoking -- and yet they're into drugs that I wouldn't even dream of taking."

"Maybe I should consider changing my drug habits because I am fed up to the teeth being fleeced by the government," says Calista. "Tax on alcohol isn't too bad, but the tobacco tax is really killing me."

"Sure, they make tobacco tax astronomical because they want us to quit," says Calista, "but the alternatives to smoking are scary. I don't want to become an alcoholic drowning my sorrows in cheap wine -- that would be a horrible scenario."

"What does the government offer us in return for quitting?" asks Calista. "I mean, with what are we supposed to fill that void in our lives? Don't the do-gooders understand that we are hooked on the habit and previous governments were responsible -- sort of -- for our becoming addicted to cigarettes in the first place?"

"If the government wants to change a culture it should offer something better to replace it," explains Calista. "What is better than smoking? Drinking?"

"Are the 24/7 liquor outlets supposed to represent a better culture?" asks Calista. "Is the government in cahoots with the liquor industry? Do all the politicians have shares in alcohol production and distribution outlets? What the hell is going on?"

"The government promotes an anti-smoking culture forcing smokers to quit and then promotes expensive patches and drugs made by Big Pharma -- with whom it is also probably in cahoots -- and that's it?" asks Calista. "Whether we smoke or quit, it's still big money for the government and its backers. What's in it for us?"

"Better health? Oh come on!" laughs Calista. "Most quitters cope by increasing their drinking and then risk dying of alcohol poisoning or cirrhosis of the liver. Is that a better deal than lung cancer?"

"What's the good of quitting and taking up expensive patches and drugs?" asks Calista. "You're no better off financially and the void left by smoking will eat away at you -- as shown by so many ex-smokers who are like bleating lost sheep."

"The fashionable drugs these days are all tax free and banned -- bought off dealers -- and while I would love to snoot my nose at the government for fleecing me of my hard earned cash for so many years, I worry about exchanging one dependency for another and becoming hooked on something I don't know much about."

"The young people seem very cool about their so-called recreational drugs and don't seem to worry about being busted, getting a criminal conviction or frying their brains," says Calista, "so am I being old-fashioned by sticking to smoking?"

"Should I throw away my fags and take up heroin, cocaine or crystal meth?" muses Calista. "Or, should I stick to the devil I know and accept being fleeced by the government?"

"To remain a smoker is a sheep-like decision, I know," accepts Calista. "Martin Whisker's protest was merely that of an outlaw ram butting his horns against the railings and the rest of us didn't follow suit -- as we should have -- maybe because he wasn't the leader of the pack, we're too damned comfortable where we are or we didn't want to cop another fleecing in fines on top of the tobacco tax we already pay."

"So, what do you want me to say?"

"Baa-aaaaa!"

smoking milch cows

There are so many lawyers, anti-smoking organizations and government health departments stacked up against the tobacco companies that Eileen, a social worker, is convinced that the whole smoking issue is one big Milch Cow.

"It's not just the tobacco companies getting milked for all they are worth but us, the stupid smokers, too," says Eileen, "and I'm not apologizing for using the 'stupid' word for smokers because that's what both sides of the issue think of us, and frankly I sometimes think of myself like that, too."

"The smoking issue is the most convoluted thing I've ever come across and because lawyers are involved I believe it is going to get a lot worse before it gets better."

"What's a cosy legal battle in plush offices for them is a dirty war of abuse on the streets for us," says Eileen, "and I am angry with the tobacco companies as well as the others for turning the lives of smokers upside down, robbing us of our hard earned money and causing others to abuse us."

"On a social level, the 'suits' from the tobacco companies and their so-called enemy 'suits' in the other camps probably do lunch together every day, entertain in each other's homes and send their kids to the same posh schools," says Eileen. "And, if they ever DO think about the fallout abuse that their cosy little war costs us, the stupid smokers, it would be followed invariably with peals of sneering laughter because -- wait for it -- I have yet to find evidence that any of the tobacco company guys actually smoke."

"The tobacco companies make such an absolute fortune from us -- the stupid smokers -- that the other stuff, the legal war, is merely a game they enjoy playing," explains Eileen. "And because money is no problem for either side, they are going to keep their legal wars going forever -- and don't the lawyers love that!"

"Do you realize that we -- the stupid smoking Milch Cows -- get slugged with income tax and tobacco tax to pay the other side as well?" asks Eileen. "We are paying for the whole thing! How does that grab you? Doesn't it make you feel uber stupid?"

"In my social work I get to see the real victims of the smoking war," explains Eileen. "Low income and disadvantaged people -- including single moms, disabled people and the elderly -- who are already victimized by society because of their circumstances. On top of this, they then get abused for smoking."

"Most of these people smoke to make their miserable lives a bit better," says Eileen, "and every day I think how much better off they would be if they could stop smoking (impossible, I've tried) or if this stupid smoking war would end and give them back a bit of dignity -- and a lot more dollars in their pockets."

"In my social work I also get to see some of the BIG people involved in the tobacco war from the government's angle," says Eileen, "but of course I don't work with them like I do the victims of tobacco. I just 'see' them swanning around in their power suits, puffed up with importance, believing they're on a crusade to save us from tobacco when everyone knows what they're really doing."

"Oh sure, there are some genuine souls who naively believe that giving up smoking to spare yourself a horrible death is a good thing," sighs Eileen, "but they just don't understand that most of the people I'm working with would die a horrible death in any case, one that is totally unrelated to smoking."

"When they think of a smoker -- if they ever do -- they are probably thinking of someone like me," says Eileen. "Someone with a bit of education who should know better and, with a bit more pressure, might give up the deadly habit."

"Well, if I ever do succeed in quitting it will be to avoid kicking myself over and over again for being milked by these guys," laughs Eileen. "It will have nothing to do with the health benefits I might gain because I know I will suffer far worse health problems by quitting. My life may be better than those of the poor people whose troubles I try to resolve, but it is still miserable in its own way and smoking helps get me through it all."

"I get dizzy trying to count the number of do-goody organizations on the tobacco gravy train -- oops, sorry to mix my metaphors," laughs Eileen. "Every day a new one seems to pop up and our tax payer dollars just keep on flowing for them."

"Can you believe that all this has been going on since 1964 when Congress protected the tobacco companies from the effects of litigation by means of the Surgeon General's warning label?" sighs Eileen. "I was born a year later, so all of my life this rubbish has been going on and it is never going to stop."

"When the first of these do-goody organizations came into being its purpose was to educate the public and hold the tobacco companies to the same degree of accountability as other industries," explains Eileen, "and, as far as I am concerned, that purpose was achieved long ago. But, seeing the dollars rolling in and a life-time career ahead of them, these guys dug in and encouraged a multitude of other parasitic types to join in for whatever other purposes they had in mind."

"I make no apologies for using the parasitic word either," says Eileen, "because that's what most of them are. They feed off our addiction, our desire to smoke and the miseries of our lives that caused most of us to start smoking in the first place."

"Even if their purpose were genuinely to help us stop smoking so that we could save money and live a healthier life," says Eileen, "they can offer us nothing to fill the gap that smoking filled, a gap that we might fill with something far more dangerous."

"These people know nothing about 'gaps' or their myriad causes," confides Eileen, "and that's why they have no right to dictate what is good or bad for us. Like most think tank types, they think of other human beings as cohorts or metrics on a chart, stripped of all humanity. They make pronouncements from ivory towers that even they, in their saner moments, must find appalling."

"It has been said over and over again -- by smokers as well as non-smokers -- that if tobacco is the killer they make it out to be then it should be banned," says Eileen, "but these guys have no desire whatsoever to put the tobacco industry out of business or to make cigarettes illegal. They don't see the inconsistency of what they're telling us and even if they did, they don't care. Why should they? Parasites by nature only feed off hosts certain to keep the milk and honey flowing forever."

"The tobacco industry, as I see it, has fulfilled all of the requirements asked of it and the burden of responsibility has now shifted fairly and squarely to the cigarette smoker," says Eileen. "It's time for these do-goody organizations to go away and find some other milch cow."

"We are, of course, still stuck with the government -- the biggest parasite of them all because without tobacco tax it wouldn't be able to fund invasions and do other goods things," sighs Eileen. "So, even if the others disappeared off the scene we are still going to get milked."

"Moo!"

health nuts, geriatrics and smokers

Sapphire is 19, an arts student, and a sad example, perhaps, of the total ineffectiveness of anti-smoking propaganda and a bad reason, perhaps, for the government to ban the sale of tobacco products completely.

"I drink, take drugs and of course I smoke," laughs Sapphire. "The more I come across propaganda designed to make me stop doing something the more I want to do it, and if they banned alcohol and cigarettes tomorrow it wouldn't bother me because there's nothing you can't get off a dealer."

"If the aim of the anti-smoking health nuts was to get us out of your workplaces, restaurants, bars and clubs then you've won," says Sapphire, "but in doing so you've created a generation gap and a social chasm like no other one before – except, perhaps, for the Prohibition on alcohol years. Smokers and non smokers are being divided, as are young people and older people. Are you happy now?"

"Well, guys, eat up and pump up in your nice, clean smoke-free environments -- and enjoy your liquor for as long as you can afford it," says Sapphire, "because as more smokers quit, or if tobacco is banned, all those taxes the government has ripped off smokers have to be made up somehow – think carbon tax, guys!"

"And, while you're thinking about that, think also about the next wave of health nuts who may ban alcohol and all the nice sweet and fatty food you enjoy so much," laughs Sapphire. "Right now, the health system may perform operations on 80 year olds and older, but it can't possibly afford to do so forever.”

“Who is going to look after you if you ever do live longer than smokers?"

"It ain't going to be me and my smoking friends!”

Read more by Sapphire:

unruly teen alienated by stepfamily

street government

We’re all gonna die!

drugs create genius?

health and safety madness

smoking and boiled frogs

Deira, a closet smoker, likens the slow but spectacularly successful gains of the anti-smoking movement over the freedoms of smokers to boiling water and cooked frogs.

"I honestly believe it is far too late to undo the damage," says Deira. "We did nothing but grumble when they turned on the heat 25 years ago -- and increased the heat a degree higher with each passing year -- and now we're cooked."

"I'm a closet smoker because I'd lose my job, my home and respect in the community if my secret habit became known," confides Deira. "I never smoke outside my home and even then I only smoke in the kitchen next to the exhaust fan over the cooker so that my neighbors can't smell the cigarette smoke and get me evicted."

"I notice more and more smokers are now coming out angrily demanding restitution of their rights," says Deira, "but they're wasting their breath -- what remains of it after years of smoking -- and can't possibly catch up with the spectacularly successful efforts of the anti-smoking movement in changing community values."

"The anti-smokers are now in government -- from the top right down to the lowest minion of the public service," laughs Deira, "and no pro-smoking political party will ever gain the ground that the anti-smokers took from them years ago."

"Don't they get it?" laughs Deira. "The time to have stood up and spoken up for smokers' rights was 25 years ago when the anti-smokers coughed their first disapproving cough."

"It's like everything else that's gone to the dogs in our community," sighs Deira. "We stood by in a spirit of tolerance and fair play and let them take away our rights one by one."

"Sure, it was fair to have non-smoking areas -- people who don't smoke shouldn't have to put up with smoky rooms," says Deira, "but who would have thought that in giving them these areas they would take away ours?"

"Sure, it was fair to have warning labels on cigarette packs -- tobacco companies need to protect themselves from litigation," says Deira, "but who would have thought that these labels would turn into ugly, gory graphics of diseases no smoker I know has ever had or is likely to have?"

"Sure, it was fair to increase taxes on cigarettes -- the health risks of smoking need to be paid for," says Deira, "but who would have thought they would deny us medical help when we needed it?"

"Sure, it was fair to smoke outside in the snow and sleet when there's nowhere else to smoke," says Deira, "but who would have thought they would then deny us this place to smoke when summer came and they wanted to be outside?"

"Sure, it was fair to smile and act chastised when someone you knew voice their disapproval," says Deira, "but who would have thought that total strangers -- even people who sell you cigarettes -- now have a God-given right to sneer at you?"

"I could go on and on," sighs Deira, "but I got the message years ago and I am angry that smokers who were in positions of power years ago chose to ignore what was going on and did nothing to stop the situation getting worse."

"A whole generation of young, vigorous people raised on anti-smoking propaganda are now in those positions of power," says Deira, "and I have nothing but contempt for all those old fogies, pushed out to pasture and stripped of their rights to smoke, bleating on to each other about civil liberties."

"No pro-smoking politician or activist will ever be able to preach to anyone other than fellow-smokers," says Deira, "and since so many of us are now closet smokers, who are they kidding about being able to turn the tide?"

"The tide's gone out and it ain't ever coming back in!"

"Nobody can have a reasonable discussion about freedom to smoke with any of these young people in positions of power," says Deira. "They have been brainwashed -- literally fed with anti-smoking propaganda since they started school -- and every time I have tried to put forward my position, with reasonable evidence, I have been contradicted with propaganda and abuse. It's like trying to argue with a religious fanatic -- you just don't bother!"

"What really hurts about these anti-smokers in positions of power is that they do not wish to make smoking less harmful by encouraging the tobacco industry to come up with a benign cigarette -- and they do not wish to delve into the myriad of reasons why anyone would take up smoking in the first place," says Deira. "They just want to stop everyone from smoking, and that's that. They know best. They're God or God's on their side."

"Even those who make their living off smokers -- the tobacco companies, the club and bar owners and the tobacco shops -- are bowing to the New World Order and meekly accepting the government's bullying tactics, telling them what they can and cannot do on their own premises," says Deira. "They are diversifying, trying to find a new way to make money. Not one of them, as far as I know, has come out in front of the media and supported the smokers who support them -- but then what media would give the time of day to lost causes?"

"Damn it," curses Deira, "even when you get online and try to find a site that supports smokers you check out their links and find that they are moles for ASH."

"Face it guys, you're cooked," laughs Deira, "and NO, you're not welcome to come join me in a closet smoke under the kitchen exhaust fan."

"If you had been on the ball, doing your job and protecting our rights over the past 25 years -- rather than partying and enjoying the perks of power -- I wouldn't have been forced into becoming a closer smoker. Okay?"